Gopher wood?

So reading I have been compelled by God and sheer curiosity about Noah & this ark.

The instructions are so detailed. 
Exact type & size of wood, how to fashion it, even make it waterproof...

There definitely was a plan for this! Noah listened and obeyed. 
Every thing as done according to what God said.

He also had a plan on what was to go inside 2 of every kind....
Male and female....

Enough food to feed everyone... Really? 
I end up going to the store 2 times a week cause I forgot something...

A master plan from the Master.

Noah got to keep his wife, their sons and daughter in laws. They would repopulate the earth once this event was over.

They took animals to sacrifice and keep up their religious traditions. 

Which tells me something else was on the ark...
Sin.

God closed the door on the ark.
It was not done by human hands.....

Think about that!
Could every ear hear that door as God closed it? 
Or did He do it with such a quiet, no one even noticed?

God guided Noah with detailed specific instructions,
Does he do that for me today?

Or am I too busy listen to a sermon, reading a book, or watching a man incessantly knocking on a door saying "Penny, Penny, Penny".

All the things we fill ourselves with.... Maybe God wants us to weed out some of the "noise".

Before Noah got his instructions it says, God's heart was deeply troubled about the state of man.(Genesis 6)

This past Sunday, Pastor Scott made us sit in church for 2 minuets to listen for God.
IT WAS THE LONGEST 2 MINUETS OF MY LIFE!!!

Sounds like I need to take some time out and search for some gopher wood.
 

A Change of Season

The cool temperatures and grey skies are bringing it out in me.
The leaves crackling under my feet and the amazing smell of my neighbors first fire of the season in his fireplace almost make it official.
It is a change of season.

I love it.... pumpkin bars, candy corn, turkey....
Next it will be Christmas lights, egg nog, and cookies.

The change of the actual weather seasons enjoyable.
The changes that come with life, those changes are not so easy for me.

I am going through and amazing change in my season with one of my kids.
It seems the ones that effect me are the ones that have the strongest ties to my heart.

And since I am a momma, anything having to do with my kids is right there. Next to my heart.

Lately, I have been pondering the change that Noah went through.
He knew a change was coming.

God told him" I am going to put and end to all people"(Gen.6:13)

My change is no where near as drastic as that.
But my anxiety has me worrying....
how far this change will reach into my heart and family?

Just like Noah took refuge in the ark where God kept him dry and safe, I need to take refuge in God.

He will not leave me and will keep my heart safe.
It may hurt a bit.
It may transform my thinking and soften my heart. 

Trials and change move us from season to the next.
And in our next season someone or something might be missing.
But God promises to fill us where we are lacking. (Col. 1:9)
Hopefully, I can remain strong and come out on the other side looking more like Christ.

Charlie Brown says "Good Grief!".... I say God is in my grief.

Loss hits hard and fast sometimes, and in many forms.

On Tuesday last week I lost my final grandparent. It was hard even though we were not physically or emotionally close.

I think the reason I am struggling with it so much is that he was spiritually close to me. 
Grandma and Grandpa Lucas were the ones who never gave up on us and always let us know that God had a special place for us in His family.
They passed on a spiritual heritage to me that I will forever be grateful for.

Another loss is a slow loss of a close relationship. 
Someone I love is going through this and it seems like a similar loss.
This is more the kind of loss due to the lack of emotional closeness.

And the third is a idea that I had placed in my head in regards of how I wanted something in my childs life to take place.  That dream was dashed and now I am left with an emotional void, to an imaginary loss.

In these cases God promises to make the loss become a gain. 
In Philippians 3:7, But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ.

Though these things are hard right now and they make us uncomfortable on this earth. These losses make us more refined like pure silver. Our refined silver goes into our crowns that we will throw at the feet of Jesus.

The great theologian, Charlie Brown use to say "Good Grief!" all the time when Lucy would exasperate him.

This week when I am exasperated, I am saying "God is in my grief "  


 Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.
Deuteronomy 31:6

Consumption

Consumption:
That word is both positive and negative....

Of course I tend to gravitate towards the negative. Over eat, over talk, over use, over do it.....
The list could go on and on.

I am learning(the hard way) that I need to focus on the more positive aspect.
Consume only what is good.

Feasting on what is good to me is reading God's word. I love looking at harder scripture, thought provoking,convicting, verses that make me self examine who I am and what I am becoming and doing for Christ .

In a world and a culture, that throws out barely used items, half eaten food, or better yet, "I had to get the latest version" , I am so glad that the word of God is NEVER changing, & ALWAYS there. 
It is COMPLETE and ready for me.

I am sick...

Blogging Break.....Forced,  not by choice.

Like I said I am sick.... 

The Lord brought me to a place where I had to come to a halt and deal with myself. 

Anxiety has been a master of mine for far too long.

Becoming aware of my illness and learning to cope has been and will continue to be an on going process.

My challenges come and go and stress is a major factor for me so stepping back and taking time to heal has been slow. But at least it happened over the summer while the pool was up.

I have hurt people, the anxiety pushed me to do and say thing I would not normally. I was broken and needed a cure.

Unfortunately a cure comes daily and slowly. But because I have the loving support of my husband, kids, family, and friends, and a damn good therapist, I am mending.

My mending has come in many forms fear, crying, begging, apologies at first and finally a repentant heart.
Until I became repentant it was controlling me.  I was grasping at straws to get my way and living in fear.

In regards to mending the Bible says:
No one sews a patch of unshrunk cloth on an old garment, for the patch will pull away from the garment, making the tear worse. Matt 9:16

I was making things worse. I am being restored. It is God who is doing my mending.  In Ecclesiastes 3:7 we are told "there is a time to tear and a time to mend". 

It goes on to say in 3:11 "He makes all things beautiful in His time" and "He has set eternity in my heart".
 
I am HIS CHILD! And nothing can snatch me from His care.  He will restore what I have torn and make "ALL THINGS NEW". (Rev.21:5)

I want to thank my husband, Todd for his love & support, Rachel & Dan for extending grace and forgiveness, Kollette for being there as God's hands to guide me.

 

 

No More Easter Bonnets

They use to be so little, love to dress up, and want to wear Easter bonnets.

Where did my little girls go?

To all the young mom's CHERISH IT! 
It goes by so fast.
But more importantly... TREASURE IT!

The word says store up "TREASURES IN HEAVEN"
How do I do that as a mom?? 

Help her build a FIRM foundation. On Christ ALONE.(Luke 6:48)
Not in a degree, a job, or a husband.
Placing her feet firmly on this foundation will help them not slip away.

Help her form herself into a woman of NOBLE character.(Prov 31)
Teaching diligence & discipline will help her be secure in herself but more importantly in her GOD.

Help her be HARD WORKING.(Ecc 5:16)
Not that they have to constantly be "doing" 
But that what she does, do it for God's glory not mans.

Help her to SUBMIT to authority.(Job22:21)
That is where she will find His peace.

Help her see her FAULTS.(Eph 4:2)
In doing this she will become humble and gentle.

Help her be PURE.(Eph. 5:2)
Sacrifices now are a SWEET AROMA the LORD.

All these things will help her be transformed into a woman who fears the LORD.

The bonnets have gone away in our house,
Some day soon she may be placing a veil on her head and walking a long isle.
I want her to be able to walk up the isle with those treasures stored up in HEAVEN &  HER HEART.
 

Wood, hay, and straw

Listening to a sermon this morning got me thinking....
The pastor mentioned that most of what we do will be burned up and only the precious gold and jewels will be left when we stand before God. 

So I dove into 1 Cor. 3:11-13 looking at it it looks pretty simple, but as I thought about wood hay and straw I came to several conclusions:

1st they are temporary.
They can be destroyed by fire, they can rot, they can be eaten by animals.

2nd they can not stand alone.
They must be bound together,mixed with something else of substance to make them work. Like nails in the wood to hold it together. And they use to put straw in with clay to make bricks back in Biblical times. 

3rd they are not that valuable and were in abundance. 
Every forest had wood and every farmer and family had hay for living andd live stock.

So what are my wood, hay, and straw??
Is it my volenteering, my time with friends?
Maybe it is more like the time I waste on the computer, 
or the mindless tv I watch.
But it could also be good things 
that God does not really want me to focus on.

Where is my focus? 
Is it on PRECIOUS things? 
What is Gold, Silver, and Jewlels to him?

Praying LORD that you show me this morning what is PRECIOUS IN YOUR SIGHT. That I can focus on those things and start getting rid of the things that will burn up and do not matter to you.

Her jar / His Jar

Reading a devotional I get each morning in an email really moved me this morning. 
And as I read John 4 about the Samaritan woman it hit me....

She was carrying a jar of water........ 
How heavy was it?
What was in the jar before she even got to the well?
How long was the rope that she had to have tied on it to get water?
How old was the jar? 
Was it handed down by her family?
What did this jar provide her?

Burdens and her hurt are what she carried in that jar even before she arrived at the well. 
Did it come from past failed relationships, abuse, or even bad habits she has tried and tried to dump out of her jar time and time again.
Was the rope a tie to her past, something she did not do,
 but a family secret?
Was she to scared to put the jar because that is all she knew?

Then she met the man who revealed what her jar was.
He called it what it was.
Showed her she was loved no matter what it contained and what it was tied to in the past.
He simply told her I love you....
Her response was AMAZING!!!!

SHE LEFT THE JAR!
Not thinking twice about it.
Sitting at Jesus feet.

Funny thing is that once she was free from the BURDEN of the jar she was able to go back and let others in her village see who was able to ERASE her past.

That day she got a new jar!
Filled with LIVING WATER!!!
He was the only one all along that could quench her thirst.

The real circle of life....

I have decided that I am doing a GOOD JOB at being a mom!
Now as PRIDEFUL as that sounds,  I am seeing God work amazingly in the lives of my children.
I have prepared and still am preparing them to go off on their own.

But this last week, my oldest daughter is gone to Germany.
She is blossoming and loving everything that is happening even though she is on unfamiliar territory  and in an unfamiliar land.
She is eating things that if I put them in front of her she would never touch.
Seeing and learning from someone else than her Homeschool mom.
She is meeting new people and reaching out without me making a play date.

This should be a huge encouragement to those who have young kids and are struggling to get them to eat their dinner, or not bite their little friend on a play date.

Beyond all that, I know I am doing GOOD because it HURTS.
The pain that I feel because I miss her, is because I have done my job giving her a piece of my heart.
Sending her out into the world with a piece of myself is what God called me to do 17 years ago when He gave her to me.

I know this is only her visiting a foreign country, and some day she will leave me (us) and start a life of her own, hopefully with a husband, so she can continue this AMAZING cycle. Giving of herself to further HIS CALLING.

Train a child up in the way they should go and they will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6

Let your hand be with me

Let your hand be with me.... that was Jabez prayer.

He was praying for intervention. He was hoping for action from God.
When I started this study it was so simple yet it has been so complex for me.
During the time of this study several major life issues have come up.
(that is why I have been away)
But during those busy times and those life issues God has spoken to me.
 He is doing an intervention on me.
Changing me from the inside out.
These issues will all come to "a head" as they say, tomorrow.
What has he spoken into me lately,
 BE STILL.
He has placed me exactly where He wants me.
He has had me raise my children for such a time as this.
I have been and am becoming the wife He has always wanted me to be.
I am the daughter of THE MOST HIGH KING.
As long as I am open,listening to HIM.
His hand will be with and guide me in all I say and do.

This is MY territory

I am still trucking along in my Jabez study, and today's topic is territory. 
What is mine.....
When I was first married it is a lot different than it is now. 

I consider my home my terrirtory.
Anyone who enters, calls, or even looks at it is a person I can influence for God.

Not only that I can use my home to do His work too.
From taking a family friend a meal, 
to welcoming teenagers over to swim in the pool.
   
My home speaks about me and who I am in Christ. 
Am I giving, welcoming, warm, and gracious. 
Is the welcome mat always out? 

Not only that but does my heart reflect that warm and graciousness? 

Recently God placed 2 situations in my life to see how I would react to having my home open to strangers. The first time was a time of crisis for someone else and it was easy for me to do but when the 2nd call came.... I was so hesitant!

In looking ahead to this I see that God has given me so much and I fall back on the verse in  Luke 12:48.
Where it says to whom much is given much is expected. 

God is giving me territory and I have to decide if I am going to hold on to the handle of my door tightly, or let it stay wide open and be used by Him. 

And today being Ash Wednesday I am reminded that when we approach the communion table of the Lord,
ALL ARE WELCOME.

Lord, let my Home be a place where all are welcome. 
Amen 

 

Out of pain

I picked up my Bible and started looking for Jabez. I had read the prayer of Jabez years ago and had been given a copy of the Bible study recently. 

On my recent break I had thrown the Bible study in my "to do" bag along with several other books and movies.

On Friday morning I picked up the Bible study and got my Bible out.
First of all the verses that relate to Jabez were short and to the point. He was no great character who had chapters and chapters written about him.

It is 3 verses!!! I am awe struck! So I read it several times asking the Lord what he wanted me to hear and how he wanted me to internalize these few scriptures.

It says Jabez was more honorable than his brothers. He was named because of the pain his mother felt in childbirth. 
Wow! What a stone tied around Jabez's neck. 
Not just at birth, the pain that his mother felt was placed on his shoulders for his LIFE!

We all have had pain in our life. Whether it be words some one said to hurt you or physical pain you have endured, it can scar you.

In my life, I was told a story of how when I was born my father wanted a boy so bad that when he heard "It's a Girl!" his response was a very negative "I didn't hear that."
That hurt and still does if I think about it too long.

Jabez took his pain and did not let it hinder him in asking God to enlarge his territory.
Why should I let my pain hinder me?
What about those words chains me down?

All I need to know is that my Heavenly Father knew I was a girl and He had a purpose for me.

In the weeks before my fathers death in July, he said He was so thankful that I was born and that I was a girl. That I helped my mom and care for him in ways a first born son could not.
That was God at work, putting the salve on my wound so I could heal as my father died. 
So He could use me to lead my father to Jesus before his death.

They say out of sorrow comes JOY. 
I found that to be true in this case.

taking a break from life....

It does not happen very often but I am on break.
My daughter made an honor band at UNI and I am with her for the weekend.
As she has been at classes day and night learning the material,

I am just being.
Yes it is awkward and weird not to be cooking and cleaning for my crew and countless others.
It is weird to say I want to go______ and do _____ because I want to.
Not because someone else needs me too.
I have had 2 days to study God's word, read books, and watch movies.
I am loving the hot tub and think it might be a wise investment in the future..

It has been a nice break, but in all honesty I miss all the things I normally do.
I see this break as a time for God to refresh me and show me  how I am doing.
I am getting a chance to step back and look at my job and do a review of sorts on myself.
I see areas for improvement and areas I am doing much better in than I was a year ago.

As my life is ever changing so is my job description. God gave me my review at just the right time. I am going into my 24th year of marriage and 17th year of parenting.
I have learned so much and am so Thankful that God has been so gracious to me. I can see how the potter is shaping the clay. With the love and water He uses I can be shaped just how he needs me to be.

Tomorrow I will be back to the rat race but right now I am soaking it all in!
God is GOOD!

Lincoln.....Honesty from Hollywood?

We went on a double date on Saturday with my daughter and her boyfriend and saw the movie Lincoln.

I am a HUGE civil war buff and love this time period so as soon as it started I was captivated.
I love the bad wall paper, the over the top bustles on dresses, and even the ink blotter that was so accurate for the times.

But believe it or not the movie had some family and marital elements that I was surprised that Steven Spielberg put in.

It was real and honest in this sense. The way Lincolns relationships between his wife and sons was so real it brought me to tears.

It showed conflict and strife and love and endearment to a wife who had been so grief stricken and mad over the death of her son. But through it all Lincoln showed his continual love and acceptance in her no matter her state of mind. Only in losing a child can you feel what she felt. He on the other hand admitted he handled his grief another way. For Hollywood to show that marriage is a strong bond through good and bad and that there is a give and take and something that only death could separate was inspiring to me. Most that has been written about Mary Todd Lincoln has been negative but I think they showed her as a true helpmate to her husband and him as a faithful husband even in tough times.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vTfHDCiE8PE

The other thing that blew me away was the honesty of how Lincoln favored his children. It was written about in Genesis how Rebekah and Issac favored Jacob & Esau. But this is one area that I thought Hollywood would gloss over in his life.

In all this I found the movie to show the real man Lincoln was. The real life family and political struggles he had weighed on him daily. He was the man God had set apart for a specific time in history. Looking at where Lincoln started and his education I see God can use anyone if they are willing to be a humble vessel for Him.

One perfect God

I am so Thankful to Jill Savage for having the honesty and guts to write this book. No-More-Perfect-Moms

I am challenged by her idea of eliminating the Perfection Infection in my life.

But to do that I must yield to God.  
The idea of YIELD, that red upside down triangle sign, is not a fun one.
I want to go first, take my turn, and do what I want. 

But it is in my yielding that I learn patience, timing, and virtues that only He can show me.

I am most Thankful that God has used this book to make me yield.
Slow down see where I am wrong. (and right!) 

And how I can use it to not only effect my husband, my children, and all who enter my house, but to further His kingdom.
Through a MOM like ME!

 

~CH 9~ Homemaking 101

This blog is going to be one of the easiest for me to write!
 I love homemaking!!!

I am a homemaking nerd. I love cooking, painting, and all decorating.
My biggest issue is, I wish I had more $ to do it.

But through all my 24 years of marriage I have been blessed by God.
We did start out with a nasty old used love seat, we had hand me down bed from my parents house, and even old dishes from my Grandmother.

Having those things when I was first married, has made me THANKFUL for all God has given to me now. Not that I am buying new stuff everyday mind you, but when I do get the chance to buy a piece of furniture or set of dishes, it makes me cherish all that has been given so freely to me.

Freely is a term at the Prideaux house we use loosely. 
I LOVE  re purposing and refinishing stuff I get for free. 
I go out in the spring, when our community has JUNK days and get furniture, picture frames, decor, and lots of other things. People are always amazed at what I find and what I do with it.
It has become such a obsession that I collect stuff and have a sale each year and make $100s of dollars on other peoples TRASH. 

They say.... One mans trash is another mans treasure. I Love that! 
God gave me a creative mind, storage space, and a great sense of how to use stuff. For that I am thankful.
The old saying "God don't make no junk" is true.
 He has showed me what to to with all the junk in my (vans) trunk .

I challenge you to think how can I reuse or use this in a different way. I have old freezer baskets in each bathroom with all my towels in them.  I have painted empty frames and decorated walls just like on pinterest at the cost of a can of $3 paint. I have swimming pool toys people were going to throw out at the end of a season that are perfectly good. My patio set was free, along with the old blue Christmas lights strung out there.  It is a perfect way to spend a summer night!

God has given us more that we can ever imagine or dream of.

 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us Eph 3:20

~ch 7 & 8~ No more perfect days & homes

It all comes and goes in waves. Right now I have pictures everywhere and am starting to prep for my daughters graduation this spring. I am preparing early so come May when panic sets in I am ahead of the game. 

Whether it be a remodeling, a new baby or a graduation, these events throw us out of our routine and can throw our house into a tail spin. 

But I must keep my focus where it needs to be, securely in Jesus. 

There are days where I think I can not keep one more plate spinning without losing them all. 
Then there are other days.... I have to admit I am bored and itching for something to do. 
BALANCE is the key. 

To me it goes back to the old song I learned in church as a little girl....

The foolish man built his house on the sand, the foolish man built his house on the sand the foolish man built his house upon the sand and the wall came tumbling down. Rains came down and floods came up the rains came down and the floods came up the rains and the floods came up and the house on the sand went CRASH!

So what I need to do and where I need to focus is building it on the rock.... Cause the house on the rock stood FIRM!

Ch 6~ That's what freinds are for

This chapter will be easier for me.
Everyone says I am a friend to everyone.

Not sure that is true but..... I am sociable.

My freindships are usually tried and true. 
I love my friends but have seen many freindships come and go.

At first, when I had young children, it was very difficult on me to have a freindship dwindle and fade out. 

But now, I see it as God's timing for me. Either I needed that friend or that friend needed me.   

God designed relationships and He has the ultimate plan for furthering and growing each relationship we are in. 

Just as the seasons change so do my friendships.
And because God is the author of all, I know He will provided whom I need or need to be for someone else.

Just like David and Johnathan or Ruth and Naomi God provides what each person needs.

He completes the bond! I love that! 
  

Ch5~ Marriage~ What mode am I stuck in!!!

Ok what mode am I stuck in!!
 Gheesh!

I have been married now for 24 years! 
And I am God's girl 1st, Todd's 2nd, and a Momma 3rd...

Why OH Why do I keep getting being a momma confused with being a WIFE!
I am so guilty of treating my husband like one of my kids.

Expecting that he is not competent to do certain things.
Also that he is constant need of my prodding and reminders.

He is an adult that God has equipped and provided HIM for me. 
 

I can trace a ton of my issues back to the baggage I brought into my marriage. (Lets just say I need more than a U haul) I need to deal with these and not be handing off my carry on's to my husband, children, and even my friends as I so often do...

When I do not deal with my issues they show up as insecurity and I look like a paranoid & neurotic person trying to control everything.

My gratitude needs to be in the constant PROVISION and GRACE that God gives me DAILY. And also the GRACE He gives my Husband in dealing with my nagging.

I am giving God the space to unpack these bags.  


 

No More Perfect Moms~ch 4~ My Multi Purpose Body

When I read the title of Chapter 4, I groaned and thought, Oh No...No more perfect bodies.... Really???
Just what I need after  all the Christmas goodies I have eaten.
This chapter is gonna hurt.

But as I read, God showed me I was closer to healing than hurting in this area.

Ever since I was young, I struggled with my weight. And still battle food choices daily. Some days I win.... some days I don't. But during my battle, I have used my body as God has provided. Here is a short list of what This BIG BEAUTIFUL BODY HAS DONE!

I have been pregnant 5 times.... I have carried 3 to term. God has BLESSED my womb and made it fruitful. Even with the pain of loss.

My breasts have fed my children, though I was not successful in feeding them a long as most mom's. (my kids HATED breastfeeding!) 
I experienced it, and now God has showed me they are multipurpose and we are on to use #2. (HA!)

My arms have lifted more laundry baskets than a Olympic weightlifter has lifted. I can not bench press or do curls but my arms strong enough for MY purpose.

My brain can not compute complicated precalculus problems or solve world peace, but it can coordinate 5 schedules, add meal planning, church, 1 boyfriend, and keep the house running in a semi organized fashion. Precalculus is sooooo overrated!

My feet have endured enough legos that I am pretty sure walking on hot burning coals would be a breeze!

My hands are strong enough to kneed bread, yet gentle enough to wipe a tear from the cheek of my daughter who has a broken heart.

My body does have a purpose. MULTI PURPOSE! 
May I continue to use it for HIS GLORY!