I am sick...

Blogging Break.....Forced,  not by choice.

Like I said I am sick.... 

The Lord brought me to a place where I had to come to a halt and deal with myself. 

Anxiety has been a master of mine for far too long.

Becoming aware of my illness and learning to cope has been and will continue to be an on going process.

My challenges come and go and stress is a major factor for me so stepping back and taking time to heal has been slow. But at least it happened over the summer while the pool was up.

I have hurt people, the anxiety pushed me to do and say thing I would not normally. I was broken and needed a cure.

Unfortunately a cure comes daily and slowly. But because I have the loving support of my husband, kids, family, and friends, and a damn good therapist, I am mending.

My mending has come in many forms fear, crying, begging, apologies at first and finally a repentant heart.
Until I became repentant it was controlling me.  I was grasping at straws to get my way and living in fear.

In regards to mending the Bible says:
No one sews a patch of unshrunk cloth on an old garment, for the patch will pull away from the garment, making the tear worse. Matt 9:16

I was making things worse. I am being restored. It is God who is doing my mending.  In Ecclesiastes 3:7 we are told "there is a time to tear and a time to mend". 

It goes on to say in 3:11 "He makes all things beautiful in His time" and "He has set eternity in my heart".
 
I am HIS CHILD! And nothing can snatch me from His care.  He will restore what I have torn and make "ALL THINGS NEW". (Rev.21:5)

I want to thank my husband, Todd for his love & support, Rachel & Dan for extending grace and forgiveness, Kollette for being there as God's hands to guide me.