In chapter 2 I got hit with the question...
What clutters my heart?
Wow! Not my mind, my schedule or my day....my heart.
In a true assessment and as Jill so graciously points out it is my PRIDE & INSECURITY.
When my Daughter was in the 4th Grade (8years old) she fell at school and broke her arm.
I was called and rushed to the school to get her and take her to the Dr.
When I arrived at the school, it was close to the end of the day, a friend who was a teacher offered to take my younger 2 kids. (Kindergarten and 2 years old)
I did not want them to be a hassle to anyone and thought I can handle this crisis and even though I was slightly panicked. So off we went.
So as we arrive at the pediatricians office for an x ray..... about an hour later, lots of tears,(by the bored 2 year old) and games of eye spy , followed by more tears ( this time by the 5 year old) a break was diagnosed. And because of the type of break we had to go see a specialist.God's grace showed up by not having an appointment that day we had to wait till the following morning.
Why did I not accept the help from my friend? She is a preschool teacher and I am sure she would have handled my kids better than I did that afternoon in the peds office.
When Pride come in Jill says" Pride keeps us from apologizing, builds up walls,crushes kindnesses, and kills intimacy."
I killed my friends kindness by not accepting help that day and did not realize it till I read that sentence in the book. (The child that broke her arm is now 17)
When I have to do things my way because of pride, it is like a
"tight chain wrapped around my heart",Jill says
And it binds me up.
Insecurity is another thing that is a BIG clutter of my heart.
I doubt my abilities or listen to the negative voices and get easily distracted.
Then I start focusing on ME and taking my eyes off God.
The Perfection Infection makes us judge ourselves and second guess what God and our heart are telling us.
I love spring cleaning and purging out closets. It feels so freeing to get rid of the stuff that bogs me down.
Time for PRIDE and INSECURITY to go out with the trash.
More of you God less of me!
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